Chapter 18. The Connection of Times

This is where we need to pause and take a step to the side. Or back. Or... In short, at least in a few lines to tell about the background of the events described. About that without which the underlying essence of my life will remain unseen — and thus, it itself will not be fully understood. About what I wanted to know for so long — and now I have learnt, finally. About my past life. And not only that.

First of all, I will mention again that in my childhood and youth I did not believe in anything lying beyond the world of matter. I was taught that it was all mystical and untrue. When it turned out that much of it was true and not mystical — the latter is essentially important — the new knowledge turned my world upside down. It also turned my perception of myself upside down again. As I said, it was very strange to see myself as a prophet. Strange both because of the specifics of the work itself and because it was incomprehensible. It was still the same me, but in an unexpected role. It felt as if I had been dressed in the suit of some official figure — but underneath the suit, I was still the same old me. A blatant dissonance that was really impossible to understand. One could only accept it and try to get used to it. Then it seemed that if there was an explanation, everything would fall into place and it would be easier.

And finally, the explanation was received. Everything fell into place. Did it get easier? In the sense that I no longer felt like a blind kitten thrown into a raging river, — yes. In the sense of responsibility — depends how you look at it... On the one hand, it is not, because the responsibility has piled up even more. On the other hand, yes, because now I knew that I could bear it, and I understood why. Emotionally, it was even harder. My life had already been difficult, to put it mildly, and it was full of sad memories, experiences, regrets, and other unpleasant things. Now I've been burdened with the weight of another life.

Some people want to remember their past lives, thinking it will be like watching a film. The kind of interesting images that you watch detachedly, as if it somehow touches you — but at the same time, sort of doesn't. Fascinating and unstressful. So there you go: it's nothing like that. If the memories are real, they have the same effect as memories from your current life. Do you remember losing a loved one? A failure that made you want to cry? And an ugly act towards someone, for which you are still tormented by burning shame? And the heartache of someone's meanness? And the physical pain when you broke something or just got really sick? And the terror when you were in mortal danger? And so on... And so on... Now multiply all this by two and add sad and painful details. Because when you remember your past life, you don't remember some other person, but yourself. Those feelings come back to you and become yours again — because they are yours. It's you. It is a new living of yourself. Yes, of course, memory will also present good, joyful, happy moments, which are present in every life. And if someone manages to perceive the memory of them more vividly, brightly and emotionally than the memory of hard moments, I can only congratulate him. However, the hard memories will never go away.

...Where was the beginning of beginnings, where was the source of everything that I have already told you about and will tell you about?

It's found in ancient India. Approximately 500 years BC. I was then a kshatriya named Ananda. Not the highest aristocracy, but not the last. I led the life of a typical kshatriya. I also had to fight.

I haven't said almost anything yet, but there is so much here already!.. I remember. Probably, it is difficult to understand what it means. I've never walked in my present life — a couple of steps in early childhood, with support under my arm, don't count. But I remember walking, running, and generally doing everything a healthy person does. Because I was doing it. Memory has stored the sensations and now presents them to me. Honestly, it's very strange to remember something you didn't do as something you did. It's hard for the brain to accept such a thing, and it tries to resist, to deny it — no, no, it didn't happen! But it did. And it's so real that even your muscles seem to remember the exertion. What about riding a horse? I remember what that felt like. And fighting? I remember the sensations of a battle. And the feeling of killing a man. Because I've had to. I've never killed — but I remember killing. It's impossible to describe. Nevertheless, the fact remains that my experience is much more than I have experienced in my present life. Thanks to it, I know and understand much more than one might think.

And also... Not long before the memories of my past life came back, I had a strange feeling that I didn't just want to love, but that I was already in love, only I didn't know who. It was a longing for the woman I loved, who seemed to have somehow been erased from my memory. For the very specific woman I need. Only her, and no one else. A very unusual feeling that I couldn't explain to myself. And now I can. Because I remembered. I was married in that life, and my wife and I loved each other very much. We had no children — and that was our tragedy, our greatest pain. I carried my love for that woman through death and postmortem, and I have brought it with me into my present life. When it comes to great love, they often say "love to the grave". However, there are times afterwards. When people who love each other find each other in the world of energy and connect there. But I took my love to a new life. This happens very rarely.

It became happiness for me, but at the same time suffering. After all, she is not with me. And I won't have a family. Now at least because I don't need any other woman. And again there will be no children. This pain, too, has followed me into my present life. All of this fell on my shoulders, making the weight of loneliness so overwhelming that it almost crushed me in that moment.

But let us turn to what directly concerns the Teaching. In a past life, as in this one, I once heard a voice that spoke to me. Only then it was not Emere, but a man who had belonged to the Teaching at the time of one of the former revelations, and who now spoke to me from the world of energy. His name was Sher-Ander. The same one who dictated the two texts that are included in the book "Evor". These texts are a repetition of some of his speeches addressed to me at that time. While writing them down, I could not even guess that Ananda was me.

Sher-Ander was then looking for someone who could hear him so that he could tell that person about the Teaching. I heard. And the invisible mentor began to teach me.

After some time, I knew quite a lot, and I was imbued with new knowledge. However, such knowledge, even if it is realised, cannot remain completely hidden, for the simple reason that it becomes a practice. You act in accordance with it. And this practice came into conflict with another practice — with the religion, traditions and the very way of life of the time in which I lived and the society of which I was a part. I will not tell you about it here. Those who wish can easily find information on Indian society of that era. Anyway, my behaviour began to change and it began to bother those around me. One of them was my cousin who enquired what was happening to me. I told him my secret. He was interested and wanted to learn more.

At first, I intended to help him in this endeavour. But then I decided that the knowledge would be more useful to me if I possessed it alone, hiding what was happening to me. I had already told my brother something; now I stopped, said I was done, and returned to my usual behaviour. I stopped listening to my mentor, who had reprimanded me for it.

Nevertheless, thanks to everything I had learned, as well as the hypocrisy I had adopted, I was able to achieve a lot in the following years and significantly rise in status. Everything ended unexpectedly when one day I received an arrow in my side from my enemies. Dying in the arms of my wife, I thought about the mistake I had made and repented deeply.

Here is another amazing experience. Some people remember how they died from a disease or a wound, but survived. And who remembers how he has been dying and died? Now that I remember it, death can't scare me. I've just experienced it before. That sounds interesting, doesn't it — "to survive death". Not the clinical kind, but the real one. I know it's part of life now. It is unpleasant to die. But it's also unpleasant to break a finger or smash your nose. The worst thing about dying is not that you disappear, — because you don't disappear. And it is not that it can be very painful, — because living and experiencing years of suffering, bodily and mental, is no less painful. Worst of all, you don't get to do much of what you could have done in life. Understandably, you can never do everything. But you can always do more. That is what life is for — to do more. If there is something that scares me about my future death, which is inevitable, it is two things: not having time to do more, and losing this world that I love so much.

And a little more about love. A different one. I really love our world — the whole world without exception, every corner of it, every pebble, every leaf on every tree, every wave lapping at the shore. And among other things, I love my homeland. And I have two of them. The one I live in and the one I remember. You can think whatever you want about it, but I have even more warm feelings for the latter than for the former. Yes, the appearance of the Teaching is connected with Belarus, and that makes it special for me. But, rather, for the mind. But my heart yearns for India, cries for it. Even now, as I write these lines, tears are welling up in my eyes. It's as if this place is my workplace, but there — that’s my home. I’m drawn to India. I love it. I feel it within me. I feel myself as part of it. It's as if I always, every minute, feel its wind on my face. And the most beautiful thing I've seen in two lifetimes is a woman in a sari.

I don't know if I'll ever go to India. Probably not. I don't think I'll ever get the chance. And I don't know what happens to a man who returns home after an absence of two and a half thousand years. Can the heart withstand it? I'd take my chances.

When I died, I found myself in the Abyss. What is it — a long time to tell, and not here. I'll just say that it's the most horrible and painful place in the world of energy, and people don't usually go there. I'm the only one who did. Because I was the only one who retreated from the Truth, having realised it to a level where one does not retreat from it anymore. So something unusual, unprecedented happened. I learnt the reasons later, when I had already freed myself after a thousand-year stay in the Abyss.

The one who was my guardian in my lifetime met me, if I may say so, at the gates of the Abyss, and initiated me into the essence of what was happening. Briefly put, it was as follows. The problem is that humanity is too slow in its development. It has existed for several hundred thousand years, and still can not pass its way to the end, to fulfil its role in the evolution of the Universe. The God of Wisdom has repeatedly given people the Teaching to help them, to push them, to stimulate them. It has always been transmitted to a limited circle of initiates, but in order to influence the others through indirect ways, to give the necessary impulse to mankind. Why is this so? Because it is better that people come to everything themselves. It should not be done for them unless it is absolutely necessary. And the emergency is coming. Because the previous revelations have not worked. Mankind continues to go round and round in circles, at times rising on a wave of enlightenment achieved by their own efforts or inspired by another revelation, at other times falling into the abysm of loss of knowledge, decadence, enmity and savagery. All this has gone on too long. So much so that if it goes on any longer, humanity risks never rising from yet another abysm and simply degenerating or even destroying itself.

Some time will pass, and almost inevitably, the need for a new revelation will arise. The last and special, different from the previous ones. Open. This time directed not to a limited group of people, but to all of humanity. An emergency situation calls for emergency response. And the one who will accept this revelation and transmit the Teaching to people must be specially prepared, unlike the previous prophets. He must go through the Abyss to receive a kind of "vaccine" against everything that could hinder him from fulfilling his duty. Because who has experienced the worst and most terrible things that can be experienced in the Universe, nothing can make him go astray. No circumstances, no factors, neither internal nor external. A very cruel, but necessary hardening. After all, the future of the human race is at stake.

Therefore Sher-Ander, driven by an unaccountable desire, searched for someone to whom he could pass on the Teaching from the world of energy. No one except the God of Wisdom had ever done such a thing before. I heard it, apparently, because I had the appropriate abilities and the necessary degree of receptivity. There must have been others besides me, but as it happened, I was the first person he could reach. Afterwards, when I had already become deeply aware of the Teaching, I committed what might be called apostasy. Or maybe such a definition is not quite appropriate. Without ceasing to consider the Teaching as the Truth, I refused to follow it. It doesn't seem unbelievable, — but it's about the depth of awareness. How could this happen? Having reached such a deep level of awareness and having felt unity with Nature, I felt the necessity of what needed to happen. I felt it — and unconsciously followed it. This led me to the Abyss, where I received the "hardening" necessary for the fulfilment of such a duty.

Now it was up to me to decide. Would I take on this responsibility? No one can force me. It was a choice I had to make consciously, deliberately and freely. That's what my guardian told me when I understood the situation and realised what was happening.

Of course, I couldn't refuse. Something like this has been said here before, right? When it came to my choices in my current life. I could have said no then, and I could say no now. But I'll say it again: you can't say no to something like that. If you realise that you can do something very important and necessary, then you should do it. Because it is your work, your duty.

I expressed my consent. Then I confirmed it by standing before the God of Wisdom. Now I had to wait for the time when the world would need a new revelation.

It took one and a half thousand years to wait. All this time I spent in the world of energy, travelling, exploring, communicating, looking from there into the world of matter. When I started to remember all this, some mysteries were resolved, the answers to which I had not had before, or certain circumstances simply received explanations.

For example, as a history enthusiast, I had always been particularly drawn to the early Middle Ages. It's not yet the era of romance, jousting tournaments, beautiful ladies, troubadour songs, crusades and the like. If we're talking about Europe, these are rather dark times of decadence. But they are attractive to me. Because that's when I came out of the Abyss and started looking from the world of energy into our world. Those were my first encounters with it after an absence of thousands of years. And that's what I saw then. It left an imprint on my soul, which at one time manifested itself as an inexplicable interest for myself. The same with the other inexplicable: my certainty of the existence of aliens. It had always been there, both in my early childhood and when I trusted science implicitly, when science told me that we humans were likely a unique phenomenon and therefore alone in the Universe. During my stay in the world of energy I had the opportunity to see that this is not the case. There are many intelligent races in the Universe. I communicated with aliens who were in the same world, saw their planets. That, too, became etched in the depths of my memory. It's roughly the same with magic. That's how I knew that there was something "out there" and that therefore it must work. And I knew how.

It became clear what had surprised me all my life: the strange sensations associated with images of galaxies. Why do I feel like I'm falling into them? I have already described it in one of my articles, which I will quote here, as I can hardly tell it better now:

"It turns out that while existing in the world of energy, I loved stepping beyond the boundaries of our galaxy to admire it from afar. And all around stretched the cosmic space with a scattering of shining lights. But these were not stars — they were other galaxies. It's breathtaking to think about. I am already anticipating how one day I will enjoy this incredible sight again. And I remember that back then, as soon as I let go of the willful concentration that held me in place, I would fall into the galaxy. It would pull me in like a magnet. This happened because within it was Earth — the planet of which I am a part. Every human being's flesh is the matter of his native planet, and his energy body is a particle of the Earth's energy body, which attracts its temporarily separated particle, trying to restore the broken unity. And I, surrendering to the will of this attraction, made a dizzying flight-fall into the galaxy, to the Earth, like a fish leaping above the surface of the water, only to return to its natural element once again. The subconscious memory of this was the reason for my strange reaction to pictures of galaxies."

I once came across a description in a sci-fi novel of a spaceship travelling outside a galaxy and its crew seeing star-like lights of other galaxies around them. After reading this, I marvelled at how lucky some people are to make up the truth.

And something else was explained: my horror of nuclear war. I'd told you how I'd nearly lost my mind over it when I was young. It turned out that it was also a memory of my experiences in the world of energy. Here's what I recount in another article:

"One of the most terrible — the Abyss was probably the worst — moments of my stay in the world of energy was also connected with Japan. But it happened much later, shortly before I was born. I'm talking about the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The explosion of the atomic bomb resonated in the world of energy with a monstrous surge of pain, horror and grief. It was a blast wave of human suffering and pain of Nature itself, which went from its epicenter around the entire planet and further into the outer space. At that moment I was near the Earth, and my energetic body felt it as if a wave of fire or burning poison had passed through it, causing a painful convulsion. And that was just the beginning. Hiroshima continued to fountain with the energy of suffering, streams of which flowed around the planet, as if sprinkling it with blood. To their epicenter immediately swarmed energy parasites of various kinds—those that feed on the energy of negative emotions and suffering. It was a real feast for them. But not only monsters rushed there. Many people and other sentient beings who felt the same as I did, hurried to the scene of the events — some out of curiosity (yes, in the second world there are also enough of them), others simply because such a tragedy could not leave them indifferent. There was nothing you could do to help, so all you could do was watch, empathising with the victims of the nuclear strike. I was there even before the nuclear mushroom had dissipated, I saw the burning and smoke-filled ruins, the corpses and the horror of the living. And I saw the seemingly endless stream of people being thrown out into the world of energy from their burned, crushed, and radiation-affected bodies — stunned, screaming, writhing in pain that was already behind them, dead with their bodies, but still felt as if it continued. They would emerge — and immediately withdraw into new pain, plunging into a layer of personal hell. Only the figures of their guardians remained, frozen in mute sorrow. It was hard to find any other definition for all this but a hurricane of pain and fear that crushed everything and turned it inside out. And when this hurricane subsided, a second blow followed. And the waves of pain went round the planet again like a tsunami, and the whole horror was repeated."

Is it any wonder that such impressions went deep into my subconscious and then resurfaced afterwards, almost exploding my psyche? Fortunately, everything went well. Although the vision with the book has not yet received its clue. Memories of my past life and postmortem aren't helping.

Now, the last thing I want to tell you about my postmortem. When I died, my wife also died, a few days after me. Of course, I didn't know about it. But when I was released from the Abyss, I realised that I continued to love her. In the world of energy one can meet one's relatives if there are no special circumstances preventing the meeting. It happens that the paths that people must follow in that world do not intersect, or do not intersect immediately, and one has to wait. In order to meet the person you are looking for, you need to open a special kind of sensitivity in yourself, a kind of inner compass that tells you the direction in which he or she is. Walking along the guiding thread, you can find him or her. It's not that hard, and almost anyone can do it. One day I also felt where she was, in which direction I should go. She must have experienced a new rebirth, at least one in the past centuries. But that didn't matter to me. I wanted to find her. So I went where I was drawn.

I don't know how to measure the distance travelled. It has a different meaning in energy space than it does in physical space. The ways of travelling are different too. Anyway, I almost reached my goal, — and then I felt something preventing me from overcoming the last part of the way. It was as if space itself was resisting. It became viscous and elastic, and it became more and more difficult to move through it, and then it turned into an insurmountable wall. It was as if there was no obstacle, but I couldn't go any further. I retreated and the space became normal. I tried again, and the wall appeared in front of me again. I tried again and again. I screamed and thrashed at that wall, trying to break through it. I'd go wandering, then I'd come back and hit the wall again. More than once and more than twice. But it was all in vain. For some reason, we couldn't meet. Nature was against it.

The time has come when she has gone into a new birth. I rushed to look for her again to at least see from the world of energy. Not immediately, but I found it. I found the house where she lived. But I couldn't see her. I wasn't allowed to do even that. I was there, outside her house, waiting. But when she came out, some irresistible force caught me, threw me away, and prevented me from coming closer until she was inside again. I resisted, but there was nothing I could do. So I just came and sat outside her house, for hours and days, unable to leave. I'd be thrown away, I'd come back. Like a ghost tied to one place. I was something like a ghost then, a disembodied and invisible energy being in love with a living woman. People did not see me, but dogs sometimes felt my presence and reacted nervously. From their behaviour, in general, a completely correct conclusion was made — that there was something evil hanging around the house, or something else. Once they even invited a clergyman to do something. He performed a ritual, but, of course, nothing happened. It went on for several years. And when she died and returned to the world of energy, I was thrown back for the last time, as if by a hurricane. Then — again the invisible wall and unsuccessful attempts to break through.

I never got to meet her.

...I can't say that the fifteen hundred years of waiting in the world of energy flew by unnoticed. But, as you can guess, I was not bored. And now it was time to return to the world of matter. Humanity had entered a new crisis, aggravated by the fact that now, more than ever before, it had the opportunity to destroy itself. I had to wait until the very last moment. There was still a chance, though tending to zero, that human civilisation would somehow get out of the crisis on its own, and there would be no need for help in the form of a new revelation. Alas, it was needed. And as soon as suitable conditions arose, I was sent by Nature to the present birth.

"Suitable conditions" in this case meant a suitable couple from Homieĺ to whom I could be born. The question "Why this city and not some other?" also occupied my thoughts for a long time. It turned out that the very first revelation of the Teaching, which took place unimaginably long ago, took place exactly where Homieĺ is now. A powerful energy has remained here ever since — a specific energy, peculiar only to the Teaching. The last revelation had to take place in the same place where the first one took place. Thus, the connection of times would be completed, with the past and future coming into contact, generating an even more powerful energy. And so it did. And when I die — it doesn't matter whether I die in Homieĺ or not — it will be like a final point, uniting the first and the last links of the chain of revelations, and will turn this city into a place of great power, into an energy centre of the Teaching on our planet.

...What happened next, you already know.

I will not repeat myself, retelling what concerns my present life. However, I will clarify one point, which remained incomprehensible and aroused astonishment until then. I mentioned it.

It turned out — how many times have I said it? — that the link between me and Hantur goes back a long way. In my Indian life he was the cousin to whom I started to reveal the Teaching, but then changed my mind. Still, what he had learnt made a deep impression on him. That is why we communicated a lot afterwards, already in the world of energy. I felt that I was morally indebted to him, and he wanted to be a part of the Teaching. When I left for a new birth to establish the Teaching here, he followed me to join it. Actually, person does not choose his or her birth — neither time, place, nor parents. He or she is born where there are the best conditions for personal development. This is how the laws of Nature work. However, in exceptional cases, when someone has to fulfil an important task, or under other rare conditions, they send him to the place where he should be in accordance with his duty. So it was in my case, and so it was in Hantur's. I was to receive the revelation, he was to help in the work of the Teaching. And at the same time to fulfil what he had missed then, two and a half thousand years ago.

When my family moved into this house, our guardians made sure that Hantur's family got a flat in it. It's hard to imagine how they did it. But since the guardians of all people are easily contactable and can work together to unobtrusively nudge their charges in the right direction, I suppose they had the means. Sometimes they interfere with the course of events in this way. Exactly sometimes, on special occasions. And when Hantur and I quarrelled and broke off relations, our guardians, with great effort and time, brought us back together. And we marvelled that though we disliked each other — and that was putting it mildly — we could never quite part.

We were to do a big and important thing together. As long as we did not realise it, we were held back, so to speak. When everything became clear, then we had the opportunity to make an informed choice and decision. And if we decided to split up now, no one would hold us back any longer.

...We have now looked into the past, then touched upon the present. Finally, let's try to look into the future. Oddly enough, in this case it is possible.

The future is not predetermined. Unless, of course, we are talking about the laws of Nature, which work in a certain way. The simplest and most common example of predetermination is that everyone who is born is bound to die. But if the human factor becomes important, i.e. if something depends on free choice, then there is no complete predetermination. Because a person can make different decisions and may even reconsider or change their choice. Whether it is good or not is another question. But it's within their power to do so. That is why sometimes the future can be very, very probable, almost inevitable — but still not 100% predetermined.

For example, I can refuse the Teaching. I have such a right and such an opportunity. But I won't give it up. I did not come this long way for that, I did not endure incredible torments in the Abyss for that, I did not wait so long afterwards. I'm not going off the path now. I could, but I won't. I create this predestination myself. What will I have to do then?

When I made and confirmed my choice after the Abyss, I was warned that if I accepted this predestination, I would not be able to return to the physical world again. That is, the upcoming birth would be my last. Usually, a person reincarnates until they accumulate enough knowledge and experience to reach the highest level of development for themselves. Once they become spiritually perfected to the extent possible in the material world, they stop reincarnating, spend some time in the world of energy, gathering what can still contribute to their improvement, and then transition into the world of Spirit. In this way, a person living their final life is close to a state that can be compared to holiness. In my case it is not so. I am still far away from the state mentioned above. However, there will be no more rebirths, and all that I have not gained in the world of matter, I will have to gain in the world of energy. Why this is so — I do not know. If the reason was explained to me then, I don't remember it now. At least, the memories haven't surfaced so far. I just take it for granted.

The Teaching will spread around the world, people will accept it. Over time, it will become the worldview of all of humanity, which will go out into deep space, spread to other planets, make contact with other civilisations. Again, this is not completely predetermined — but with a huge, almost one hundred per cent probability. All this time I will be in the world of energy, and from there I will watch what is happening and take part in it as much as possible. If in the future things become very bad with the Teaching, if it is not properly preserved, if it begins to have critical problems or something else that could destroy it from within, I will be able to openly and visibly intervene and set things right. Whether this happens or not, I will have to wait for the day when humanity reaches the highest level of its development, fulfils its evolutionary task and leaves the stage of the Universe. That is, when all people will pass into the world of Spirit, and not a single person will be left either in the world of matter or in the world of energy. Since I have accepted the final, decisive revelation, I will have to wait for the finale. I will be the last of the people in the two worlds. When this happens, only then will I also be able to pass into the world of Spirit. And humanity will be replaced by other intelligent races.

I learnt about how things should be, and how they are likely to be, from Emere. When I stated it in one of the "Evor's" texts, I was both inexpressibly joyful and inexpressibly sad. Joyful — because I will see how the work to which I have devoted not only my present life, but also many centuries before it, and to which I want to continue to devote myself. To see how everything happens and how it will succeed — which I personally do not doubt — isn't it a great happiness? And it will be very interesting to see how history will develop in the next hundreds and thousands of years. And sad — because I will never return to the world of people dear to my heart. Because I had no children in my past life, I have no family and no children in this life, and I never will. And also because the echo of great loneliness has already reached me from the future. It must be hard to be the last of your species in the universe and realise that.

Then the connection of times will finally be closed — for all mankind. All those who came out of the world of Spirit to walk on this path will return there already different, better. And someone will have to extinguish the light when they leave.